Why do we wait to be stripped of life, strength, wealth or dignity to change and/or say the things we ought to?
What would it take to inspire us:
to always live the life we know we should,
to shed the excess to self,
and live for what we will never regret
- no matter what after-life we might anticipate…?
Over 20 years ago, I was stabbed in China while protecting a couple of ladies I had never met before. As I attempted to get help alone after the incident and while losing over a liter of blood, I was not thinking of when I could take my next trip, or how I would yet earn a luxurious and free life. My thoughts were far from that.
They were over 5500 miles away with my beloved parents;
They were a few hundred yards down the street with my best friend/brother - whom I was supposed to be meeting;
They were across Beijing with my dear friends;
And another 5000 miles away with my other best friend.
My thoughts were all with them.
I have stood at the death bed of more than a dozen friends. And, I must say it is one of the most profound, and yet, rewarding experiences? There is not a more inspiring place to be. Where else can you look at life and evaluate it in a more visceral and sincere way?
You may think me morbid, but when someone whispers in your ear, "Carry on, live, forgive, and give to the fullest. Be selfless and compassionate...take care of my loved ones……" I will tell you right now, that whisper is a priceless gift...invaluable… It wrecks you!
"Carry on, live, forgive and give to the fullest. Be selfless and compassionate...take care of my loved ones……’ I will tell you right now, it is a priceless gift...invaluable…"It wrecks you!
What would you do with this admonishment?
I have a knack for getting into conversations with complete strangers about what we/they live for. During these interactions, I like to share my focus on living a compassionate life. At first, they say, “How cool!” But after I share the details of what I believe this entails, their eyes become glazed over and they exit stage right! This is baffling! Why do we not stay focused on something that inspires or haunts us? I too am guilty of this!
Every day I am confronted with noble causes - while driving, on the internet, in nature...neighbors and friends and family…my children and wife… There have been many times when I am faced with the reality of resources and time wasted. And it is for this reason, and more, that I am struggling these weeks with my old friend depression.
My wife and I are trying to make a difference by instigating others - and ourselves - to act now, while we have the strength and ability to do what we would most likely regret not doing later. For us, this looks like instigating our own kids to prepare for selfless service.
Quite often, when I am emotionally flogging myself for squandering the precious commodities and gifts I am gifted, I remember a quote that redeems my thoughts and actions. It comes from the movie The 13th Warrior - a favorite of mine. There is a scene that shows the main character preparing to be part of a nearly hopeless defense against a far superior force. As he is about to put on his armor, he takes off his boots and sword, then barefoot, he kneels in the deep mud and prays this prayer:
Merciful Father, I have squandered my days with plans of many things. This was not among them. But at this moment, I beg only to live the next few minutes well.
For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray thee God for forgiveness.
Oh, that we would live and act on these thoughts BEFORE ‘the end’.
Sometime in the next week, we anticipate the loss of a very precious member of our family's core. This journey is due to a very drawn out and ugly disease. In these last few weeks, there are a lot of thoughts being exchanged - mostly through the eyes because the ability to speak is all but gone. I can guarantee there are no wishes for another day to go buy a new car. Not a chance! Only thoughts of love, affection, and commitment - memories of the best of times - and an after life of hope! Nothing is spoken of stuff.
In our final moments, we are given the last and greatest opportunity to express what we have feared to say. I honestly value this time. I can say what I feel, and know it is heard. I can show my true love, and know it is not rejected. I can be compassionate, and pride takes no part.
But what about now? No regrets? Can I live these moments now and have years to perfect and prove my heart is where it wants to be?
Make it count. When it counts. Don’t intend to - BE intentional!
Dedicated to Kathleen Lyn Clough - The most amazing, beautiful, kind, gentle and wonderful...fun...mother-in-law and human being, a son-in-law could have ever asked for. You gave me the most beautiful part of you, my precious wife - my gratitude is endless for this...
Thank you for loving me to eternity, thank you for caring enough to get me there. Thank you for pointing me up.
You are everything I never knew I always wanted - You made it count...
I love you for ever; I'll see you on the other-side.
Sleep in heavenly peace; peace be still...
P.S. I won't let you down.
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